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Real Talk

May 11, 2014

I’ve gone through a huge transition over the course of my 30’s. As I buckled down on paying off debt and decided to do something about a nagging thought that I should “get healthier” my lifestyle has changed a great deal.

I had to stop going out to bars and restaurants because literally all my spare money went to my debt. This meant I started looking for other (free) things to do. A lot of things by default were outdoor activities. Hiking, running, sitting on coffee shop patios and sipping the same iced drink for hours, picnics and window shopping. The majority of these activities tend to take place in daylight hours so I started going to bed earlier to take advantage of the days. I was almost surprised by how good it felt to get up before 7am yet still get a full 7-8 hours of sleep.

I had to stop buying alcohol on the regular and fancy cheeses and cured meats for charcuterie boards were no longer a given. Recipes that called for expensive ingredients were stricken. My grocery list consisted of basic, non-prepared, fresh meat and veggies initially because they were cheaper and then because I realized how good they made me feel. I pretty much stopped drinking completely save for a glass of wine on special occasions.I started to pay more attention to my diet and figure out what worked for system.

I went through an extremely stressful period in my personal life and started running more and more to cope. Some people drink or party. I ran. Sometimes twice a day. Sometimes through pain, physical and spiritual. I ran so much I injured myself and bought a gym membership so I could stay active while I rehabbed. Before I knew it I had falled in love with weight lifting which only fuelled my interest in diet and figuring out how to ensure my body’s maximum performance.

All these changes were positive ones. I was in debt, slightly chubby, drinking most nights, staying up late and eating high calorie/high fat/high sodium food. I never thought further into the future than my next pay cheque. My friends and I were having a lot of fun but it was time to grow up.

Here’s the rub. I have never been happier. I have never been healthier. I am in a wonderful relationship with a man I adore and who feels the same about me. I have two step-daughters who light up my life. I have a great career. But many of those friends I had so much fun with are nowhere to be found. At first they questioned the changes. They asked why I no longer drank or why I had to go to bed early or go for a long run in the morning. They said it wasn’t me. I tried to explain that my lifestyle had changed but I hadn’t. I was still the same person they had loved and laughed with for years. We could do other things together.

Some of them understood and while the plans we make have changed, our friendship hasn’t. Others did not. I’m not sure whether they felt my choices were a judgement on them (they weren’t) or thought I’d be one of those people who only talks about their new diet/workout/whatever (I’m not), but they pulled away. I guess it’s just one of those things that happens as you go through your 30’s and you naturally evolve from who you were in your 20’s. I’ll admit that I pretty much did a complete 180 over the past few years but the core of me hasn’t changed. The values, the beliefs, my sarcastic sense of humour are all still there if only they’d care to look. I miss them at times. I hope they’re happy. I hope they look back fondly on the fun we had while we had it. And if they ever want to reconnect, I’ll be here.


From → Random

  1. Awwww, how wonderful!!! Simply amazing post!!! I’m so happy you found running!! XOXO!!

    • Thanks hun! I’ve had some really good feedback on it off-site. Seems to have touched a nerve. A lot of people saying they’ve been through something similar.

      And yay to running! Keeps me sane! xo

      • Wow, SO TRUE, it really does keep me sane, too!! It’s phenomenal!!

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